Building Relationships

In order to succeed as a software engineer, you need people to like you. So how do you make that happen quickly? This lesson teaches you:

• Relationships are all about trust - The more someone trusts you, the more they will share with you, and the more effective your collaboration can become. The 1 on 1 meeting is the most mechanism to earn this trust.
• Trust by default - Trust is extremely hard to earn and very easy to lose. The best way to earn someone's trust is to give them a lot of your trust. This will trigger a response where they will strive to follow The Golden Rule, giving you more of their trust to make things balanced. For an example of trusting by default and earning trust lightning fast, check out our deep dive into great mentorship here.
• Make small talk - 2-5 minutes of small talk per 1 on 1 can go a long way. By talking about things outside of work, you are showing that you truly care about them as a person.
• Be honest - Tell it to people straight, and don't mince words. By showing that you're comfortable sharing what you're genuinely thinking, people will want to do the same. This is especially powerful when talking about problems.
• Use humor and self-deprecation - Everyone likes to laugh: It's a very human thing to do. Crack a joke here and there when you can. Self-deprecation is effective as it's safe (you are poking fun at yourself instead of someone else) and shows your humility.
• Show thanks - Don't take your colleagues doing great work for granted: Doing great work is always hard. There is really no such thing as giving too much thanks and making people feel too appreciated. This is a severely under-utilized technique. Giving heartfelt thanks is supremely powerful - You can turn someone's bad day into a good one.