Suppress Your Instincts And Treat All Feedback As A Gift

• Don't be defensive at all when receiving feedback unless it is entirely incorrect.
• If you have taken the time to find a supportive team, the vast majority of feedback you receive (95%+) will be correct and have value.
• Feedback is a gift and arguably the greatest gift you can possibly receive for your career. One of the most common attributes among top performer engineers is that they take and apply feedback extremely well.
• Have empathy for the feedback giver. They probably feel a bit awkward as they're unsure how you're going to receive the feedback. Make them feel comfortable after they share the feedback by thanking them immediately and earnestly.
• Write down all great feedback you receive and try to convert it into action items:
  • Example: "I feel like you could be more active in meetings." -> I will try to say at least 1 thing in every team meeting from now on.
• If you get feedback you genuinely believe is incorrect and hurtful:
  • Talk to your manager if you don't have a good relationship with that person.
  • If you feel comfortable enough to talk with that person directly, have a crucial conversation.

Related resources:

• "How can I find more opportunities to grow when I'm getting very little real feedback?"
• "Everyone's telling me I'm doing great - How do I get actionable, constructive feedback?"
• Effective Communication Guide - Giving Feedback