Name: Stop Getting Ghosted With Your Reachouts - How To Write A Great Cold Message
Uploaded: 2023-02-14T22:24:20+00:00
Duration: 3 min 43 s
Description: If you're a software engineer, you are likely going to do a cold reach out at some point in your career

Stop Getting Ghosted With Your Reachouts - How To Write A Great Cold Message

If you're a software engineer, you are likely going to do a cold reach out at some point in your career. This is almost always true when you're a junior engineer and don't have too deep a network yet. However, most software engineers go about this aspect of professional networking in the wrong way, especially when it comes to job searching and interviewing.

Here's how to write a cold message that actually has a chance of getting a response:

- **Mention your own background** - If you have any credibility, use it. What accomplishments do you have? What makes you special compared to everyone else and deserving of a response from this person?
- **Have a specific request** - The more pinpointed your ask is, the less effort it takes for the other person to figure out how to help you. Don't just ask for help with things like "career guidance" or "helping you find a job" - These categories are far too broad. Ask for tips on clearer areas like how to resolve disagreements in cross-team meetings or how you can pass behavioral interviews with &lt;50 person startups. For more advice here, check this out: [Asking Effective Questions That Get Great Answers Quickly](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/HV8sq75WxM9VhK0dhUun/asking-effective-questions-that-get-great-answers-quickly/)
- **Find commonality** - Having common ground is one of the most important factors with a successful relationship. Whether it's working on the same tech stack, coming from the same school, or playing the same video game, share that commonality to make yourself feel more familiar.
- **Build them up** - At the end of the day, everyone enjoys being praised. Put them on a pedestal and explain why *their* input in particular is valuable to you. Show that you didn't send the exact same message to 100+ different people.
- **Make up follow-up items clear** - Don't just ask for "guidance" or "mentorship": Make it clear what's the exact form of help you want? Is it a link to a useful blog post or video? Is it a 30 minute 1-on-1 meeting?

Related resources:

- [\[Course\] Effective Communication For Engineers](https://www.jointaro.com/course/effective-communication-for-engineers/)
- ["How to get referrals?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/FQIi8us9uoTDIYdzMhvg/how-to-get-referrals/)

If you're a software engineer, you are likely going to do a cold reach out at some point in your career

There's more to working in tech than just shipping software. It's vital for your career to build deep professional relationships and make real friends at work, especially if you're looking to grow to senior levels.

At the end of the day, working in tech, or anywhere really, is all about working with other human beings. Communication is the core skill necessary to make this collaboration effective.

[Masterclass] How To Build Deep Relationships Quickly In Tech

Professional networking is vital for a healthy career, especially as a software engineer. However, many tech workers struggle with building relationships, especially introverts. In this masterclass, we teach you how to improve your interpersonal communication and build meaningful professional connections quickly, which might even make you some work friends along the way.

There were a ton of important points from this masterclass, so here's our Top 5 (in no particular order):

- **You're going to get burned, and that's okay** - Professional networking is just like making friends or dating: You will meet people where it just doesn't work out. Don't let that tear you down and make you cloister up. Move on from those relationships and continue investing in new people.
- **Make them feel special** - Asking someone for a huge favor with some copy-paste message isn't networking: It's begging. The classic example is cold messaging random people for referrals into their FAANG company. If you want any chance of success with a reach out, make sure to deeply explain your background and credibility alongside why you reached out to that specific person in particular - Put them on a pedestal.
- **Understand their incentives** - One of the biggest reasons people fail with networking is that they're entirely caught up in what *they're* looking for, reducing their networking to "*How can I get this other person to give me what I want?"*. Successful relationships are those where each party is able to provide lots of value to one another, and the first step to doing that is to understand what the *other* person wants and what motivates them. When it comes to networking within a company, this is usually tied to what they get rewarded for in performance review.
- **Lead with kindness** - Only helping others when they have already helped you is a recipe for weak, slow-growing professional networks. Kindness is 10x more valuable in building up a relationship when it's unexpected, making the pleasant surprise of helping someone who's never helped you before especially powerful. For a deep dive into this concept (including a story about how Taro cofounders Alex and Rahul met), check out: ["How do you network effectively within a company?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/DwT9GtdYK9nwFV3a7jrU/how-do-you-network-effectively-within-a-company/)
- **Maximize 1 on 1 meetings** - 1 on 1s are the core engine behind deepening interpersonal communication, and that includes professional ones. Schedule a recurring 1 on 1 if possible with anybody you want to build a deep relationship with, and make sure to use that time well. Embrace [the art of the "Awkward 1 on 1"](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/xjeFRpp5YHxG9TTK8wjn/1-on-1s-are-the-time-to-be-awkward/) to share honest feedback, talk about how you're feeling, and learn who they truly are as a person. To learn more about this, watch this: [\[Masterclass\] How To Have Impactful 1 on 1 Meetings](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/FEK6JZqW2Jg3rdN9yeGn/masterclass-how-to-have-impactful-1-on-1-meetings/)

Related resources:

- [Alex's Guide To Effective Communication](https://www.jointaro.com/playlist/hVdLQQzfslaYarLSCmmy/)
- ["How do I lead without authority?"](https://www.jointaro.com/question/BWv3hFSELbn59mXJbkNB/how-do-i-lead-without-authority/)
- [What Makes A Truly Great Tech Lead](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/uHqZZ15SK19MatEvLSO6/what-makes-a-truly-great-tech-lead-a-vp-of-engineerings-perspective/)
- [Presentation Slides](https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1TDdBRQTGc66T35PzB5SwcJ3HQci_csdy8mzKxQu3law/edit?usp=sharing)