Name: Successful Disagreements for Software Engineers
Uploaded: 2023-12-07T22:00:42+00:00
Duration: 35 min 34 s
Description: Ryan Alexander Wiens is an experienced English communication coach who has worked with more than 70 SWEs

Successful Disagreements for Software Engineers

[**Ryan Alexander Wiens**](https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryan-wiens/) is an experienced English communication coach who has worked with more than 70 SWEs. In this workshop, he shares the nuances of expressing disagreement in a constructive and respectful manner. With years of coaching under his belt, Ryan understands the challenges faced by engineers when English is not their first language.

**Key Takeaways:**

- Understand the phases of a diplomatic disagreement.
- Interactive exercises including breakout rooms and real-time Q&A.
- A phrase bank for participants to use in their daily communications.
- Practice scenarios on common workplace topics for SWEs.

Ryan discussed the importance of including the right words and phrases, clear thinking, defined outcomes, and effective communication frameworks. He underscored the need for skills such as active listening, presenting new ideas, building rapport, and confidence in practical application. Ryan also led a discussion on the topic of successful disagreement at work, suggesting that the level of comfort with disagreement might depend on the situation and culture of the workplace.

**Disagreement's Importance in the Workplace**

Ryan emphasized the importance of expressing disagreement in the workplace, as it leads to better decision making, avoids useless work, and creates opportunities for learning and growth. They stressed the need for disagreement to be done respectfully, keeping it impersonal and listening to others before forming a response. Additionally, they suggested picking battles wisely and staying calm and respectful. 

**Constructive Disagreement Framework**

Ryan introduced a framework for constructive disagreement that emphasized respect, evidence-based opinions, and softening disagreements. He encouraged attendees to suggest phrases to use when expressing disagreements respectfully. Instead of using the word "but" in conversations, Ryan suggests alternatives to soften disagreements. At the same time, you should own your disagreements and remove bias from the message. In situations of imbalanced authority, Ryan advised picking battles carefully and being strategic about which battles to pursue.

Ryan led a group activity aimed at fostering disagreement resolution skills. Find the [worksheet here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1G0As8QS7MZ4O0PTCeDEPeSborW9ahU_m/view?usp=sharing).

Additional resources: 

- [\[Masterclass\] How To Build Deep Relationships Quickly In Tech](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/tyaPFMXPoz2pmzB7OVzt/masterclass-how-to-build-deep-relationships-quickly-in-tech/)
- [\[Masterclass\] How To Work Better With Your Engineering Manager](https://www.jointaro.com/lesson/2PbJb2fuqF3iMHy57eEg/masterclass-how-to-work-better-with-your-engineering-manager/)

Ryan Alexander Wiens is an experienced English communication coach who has worked with more than 70 SWEs

At the end of the day, working in tech, or anywhere really, is all about working with other human beings. Communication is the core skill necessary to make this collaboration effective.

Interpersonal communication is an important skill to have as a software engineer. As a software engineer, you work with a team of other software engineers to build a product or scale a system. In order to work effectively with the other members of your team, you need to be able to communicate with them so you are all aligned on the same end result.

Learn how to improve your interpersonal communication skills to design better software with your team

Master your interpersonal communication skills to build empathy and long lasting relationships with your teammates that extend beyond your current role. When you prioritize interpersonal communication, you can ensure that your projects are successfully completed on time.