I'm going to go another direction, just in case this works for you and your life.

Is it possible for you to pick one day where you "half day" yourself, and then add a half day on a weekend morning? Or even 3/4 day during the workweek but know that you have reserved at least a couple hours that are legitimately workweek for yourself on the weekend?

I'll leave to you how you might do that formally or informally -- whether you need to get managerial buy-in or your working hours are assumed to be optimized to your life -- but the easiest swap is Friday afternoon to Saturday or Sunday morning. No one in ET or UK is going to need you after about 3pm for sure, and probably you could push that a few hours earlier. No one will be affected for a Monday morning delivery.

This of course assumes you're not already working Sat/Sun!

Otherwise, it's summer here, so a good time to get used to a 5:30am PDT wakeup! (Dawn is the best! Also going outside right after dawn when the world is silent... : chef's kiss! : )

Head of Sustainability & oldster lady

Jessica Margolin

Ok, so this is my 4th gold rush, technology that will destroy life as we know it. (It does actually.)

1. PC software "A computer on every desk!" - Bill Gates
2. The internet
3. The social web / phones
4. AI

The first thing that happens is that everyone runs to claim that they're in the mix, they know the score. Then what happens is people say they ARE that tech. It's like if Nvidia were to say they're an AI firm. I remember when 3M said they were a software company. Seriously. (3M = Metals, Mining, Materials or something like that). This is because the executives have become competitive on that one variable; they convince themselves it's due or die, the space race, everything relies on it.

So now everyone is soaking in it.... and here comes the naysayers. They basically say "this isn't worth it at all, what are you all doing?"

The reality is that a giant stirring stick HAS been stuck in the paint can of life.

The antidote for this is to find things you care about, focus on those, work for a living without getting too overwrought and learn whatever is interesting to you as the ground shifts. It *will* shift, and you get to choose how you will participate in tech when AI is part of the tech stack and workflow.

It's too early to know that definitively now, so just back off the mental energy and rest up. It's about 3-5 years once the thing "pops" into the general consciousness before anyone really knows what's going on.

Hang in there, get a therapist as others have said -- your health ins should cover it.

Hi, so first "nepotism" means specifically hiring one's family member. I think you're thinking of "cronyism" which is hiring one's friends.

The root cause that's underscoring this idea is that people want to see "fit." If they don't have enough proof that you'll fit in, they're going to rely on superficial similarities or differences. The less experienced the manager is, and the less professionalized the team is, the more they'll have "implicit bias" and select people who are like them.... or just like who they wish they were!

So yes, this happens all the time.

Basically there are risks and benefits to a heterogeneous culture (mixed) or a homogeneous one. Generally, homogeneous workplaces move quicker and are "tighter," but they can move quickly into the wrong direction because they all have the same sense of perspective. (This is how you get a whole movie with a male cow. Or you name a car "Chevy Nova" (no va = doesn't go in Spanish.)

If you have a heterogeneous culture, then everyone has to become sophisticated at identifying and crossing interpersonal boundaries. It's a skill and it takes time to learn and when the culture cares about it, that means anyone can fail if they don't have this skill. Communicating in a way that is inclusive is difficult and slows things down, but it also absolutely makes the company better able to relate to a wide variety of customers and in different countries and contexts.

But from a practical perspective, as you grow your career, you may want to look for organizations who value the ability to interact with many cultures. Most of those are large and global, but you can find smaller ones as well. Check out the founding teams and the most senior executives.

As you've noticed, it doesn't matter which group everyone is from -- in the US, an all-White leadership is bad, but so is an all-Indian one. I'm a woman but I wouldn't feel comfortable if there were an all-Female leadership. The trick is to avoid a homogeneous culture and find one that explicitly learns how to communicate across any variety of differences: ability, age, race, etc.

For your PIP, I think there are some good materials here about how to navigate a PIP.

1. Depends on the manager. People tend to go all "control freak" when they feel out of control in some other way. So they want to do the thing they KNOW how to do, to feel competent. \
   If you can start from that point of view (whether it's specifically true right now) that your manager realizes they're in over their head, you might be able to coach them into how to manage you. \
   \
   For example, "I am working rn on x and y, to get \[thing\] done by \[milestone\]. You want me to do z. That is going to impact the timeline of x and y -- even if I work late to get it done, because I'll be more tired then the quality may suffer. Is that the prioritization you prefer? Z first, then x, then y? \
   \
   In other words: their job is to prioritize and remove blockers/find resources. If they're not doing that -- if they're seagulling (fly in and \*\*\*\*) -- then nudge them towards prioritization and blocker removal anyway. \
   \
   Also, and this may sound super manipulative, but it's really not: when they do a good job doing THEIR job, give them approval! Thank them for organizing, removing blockers, finding resources, aligning stakeholders so your project has support, etc.
2. Not sustainable long term, and whether you personally can endure it really depends on whether this hooks into your own issues, or whether you can separate it out and do good work, despite this noise. I would have a very rough time, and I'm an oldster. But I know people who truly don't care at all, and just roll with it.
3. "Most" isn't really relevant; I think you're looking for "enough." Enough so that you can specifically search for a new manager where you ask behavioral interview questions such as "you know your direct has a lot on their plate, but your manager just asked you a question, and you want to get the answer to them. What do you do?" (Follow up: "What do you do if your manager does that frequently?")