How to improve accountability buddy relationship?
I have an accountability buddy who I met online. We've been reporting each other on a weekly basis. While I've been able to make progress on the goals I've set each week, I still feel that I'm not getting the most out of the relationship (not his fault though). I think the two failure modes are:
- Whenever I only partially hit a goal, I come up with excuses like "work's been really busy" or something similar. He's quite understanding and says it's ok to catch up next week.
- I have a tendency to make really easy goals, like "do a leetcode problem every day" or "apply to a job every day". Like sure, I probably wouldn't have done them without an accountability buddy, but I feel like I could go so much further if my buddy pushed me to set higher goals.
So I'm wondering how I can make it such that I get away with less bs, or have him be "meaner" to me? I've thought of some solutions like sharing my job app tracker with him, my leetcode practice diary, etc. But I can definitely think of some things that are harder to share (for example work related stuff).
Discussion
(2 comments)- 12 months agoTech Lead/Manager at Meta, Pinterest, Kosei
Two things I can think of:
- Find an accountability partner partner who inspires you. Ideally, you want someone who shocks you with how much they were able to accomplish. Then, you can ask about their approach and learn from them.
- This is why having a high-caliber peer group is so important. If you have nothing to learn from your partner, find a new partner!
- Have a meta-conversation with them at the beginning of the call. Something like this:
Please be very direct with me about what else I could be doing. Feel free to be harsh. You won't hurt my feelings since I know we're both trying to help each other get better.
This gives your partner "permission" to push you further.
- Find an accountability partner partner who inspires you. Ideally, you want someone who shocks you with how much they were able to accomplish. Then, you can ask about their approach and learn from them.
- 0
2 months agoTech Lead @ Robinhood, Meta, Course HeroFor #1, just tell them that you appreciate them being nice, but you want them to be a little "meaner" if you miss a goal as Rahul mentioned. It can be done a little jokingly - When a mentee of mine misses a goal, I'll say something like "C'mon, you were supposed to do this" but I'll have a slight smile on my face (i.e. not anger).
For #2, it seems like you just need to set harder goals. Looks like you're doing job search stuff, so cranking them up is easy. Make it a goal to apply to 3 jobs a day while doing 2 LeetCode problems.
Lastly, you can make it more fun by introducing a "punishment". Make it so that if you miss a goal, you need to do 10 pushups live during the call. If you keep missing the goals, at least you'll become fit.
