Manager not acknowledging me
I've noticed that my manager often doesn't acknowledge my suggestions or thoughts during team meetings, even though our one-on-one interactions are fine. I feel that high-impact opportunities are given to other team members, despite my requests for them. I am moved to support work recently (manager claims that this is also high impact and there is scope to reduce operational work). Additionally, I received the no salary increment in my team in last review.
I also feel that my manager supports a teammate at the same level as me more than they support me, even though we are both working towards promotion.
I'm not sure what to do—whether to stay and hope things improve or transfer to another team and start fresh. If I change teams, I will need to start working from scratch for my promotion.
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Discussion
(3 comments)- 1
6 months agoTech Lead @ Robinhood, Meta, Course HeroI've noticed that my manager often doesn't acknowledge my suggestions or thoughts during team meetings...
That's not good, can you give a high-level example of something you said and your manager responded? Was it literally just ignored?
Meetings can be tricky among teams where most engineers are more senior and extroverted than you. Something that happens a lot is that a more shy and introverted engineer will say something, but someone else on the team will say something at the same time or very shortly after and people just didn't really hear the more shy engineer. In that case, you just have to awkwardly say your thing again (I've done this plenty of times, haha).
I feel that high-impact opportunities are given to other team members, despite my requests for them. I am moved to support work recently (manager claims that this is also high impact and there is scope to reduce operational work).
Support work can indeed be very impactful! I recommend going through my new mid-level to senior course, particularly this lesson: https://www.jointaro.com/course/grow-from-mid-level-to-senior-senior-l4-to-l5/the-goggles/
I also feel that my manager supports a teammate at the same level as me more than they support me, even though we are both working towards promotion.
So the most common reason for this is that they have more experience at the current level than you (i.e. they have been "stuck" at the current level for longer). Even if their tenure on the team is shorter than yours, it's possible they had more YOE at mid-level from previous roles compared to you. FIFO is just the intuitive way for managers to invest their time.
Overall, this post makes your manager look pretty bad (and you may very well be right), but there's always 2 sides to a story. I recommend you do your best to put yourself in your manager's shoes and assume good intent. I did my best to play Devil's Advocate, so hopefully that helps with this process. It's possible that the best route is indeed switching teams, but that's painful for the promotion reset reason you mentioned. And switching companies is obviously very painful in the current market.
Lastly, I recommend this course too: Managing Up: Build Effective Relationships With Your Boss
- 06 months agoMid-Level Software Engineer [OP]Taro Community
Thank you Alex for your response. There were many incidents in the recent past I have noticed change in behaviour, for ex: manager frequently skipping one on one’s and when I ask any questions during meetings in zoom chat, manager responds to others but not me etc.
I will check courses you mentioned and try to understand how I can navigate this situation better. Zero salary increment, putting in support project (that too in a completely unfamiliar tech stack without proper KT), not responding to my ideas/questions in group conversations makes me feel something is wrong.
It’s been few months I had one on one, do you have any suggestions how I should utilise this meeting to understand manager perspective and get clarity about my next steps.
I definitely do not want to continue in this project for more than 3 months but I am worried how it will affect my promotion. No learning curve, grunt work, long working hours, frequent meetings were couple of reasons why no one else in our team would like to join this project. They moved to this project saying that they don’t have any other option, even though I am not liking I have been contributing and giving my 100% here but it’s taking a toll on my mental health and in the end despite doing all this there is no guarantee I will get promoted. Joining a good project with learning curve will be win for me at least I get to learn few things even if I don’t get promotion. After speaking to a mentor and few friends general consensus from them is not to complaint much and show value in whatever project assigned. After giving it a try for a month I still feel demotivated to be part of this work. Should I ask manager about moving to other project and if yes, How can I increase my chance to get a better project in next quarter
- 16 months agoTech Lead @ Robinhood, Meta, Course Hero
Oh no, manager skipping 1 on 1s is very very bad 😓. This pushes me firmly towards the "You should probably leave" camp. As mentioned before though, you should exhaust all possible options before looking outwards. Try the tactics from here: What To Do If Your Manager Keeps Canceling Your 1 on 1s
After speaking to a mentor and few friends general consensus from them is not to complaint much and show value in whatever project assigned.
In this market, this advice is valid but there's a limit. If your mental health is declining, then you need to set a stop at some point. If your manager seems well-intentioned at least (i.e. not toxic), I would bring this up with them.
Should I ask manager about moving to other project and if yes, How can I increase my chance to get a better project in next quarter
The foundation to get better work is to do good work on the scope you currently have. Your goal is to finish up your current project as soon as possible while maintaining good quality. After that, you can bring it up with your manager in a 1 on 1 (make sure to be constructive about it instead of just sounding angry).
