Favoritism and non-inclusiveness at workplace

I don’t understand this whole story. In terms of facts, the first part doesn’t seem to have anything to do with you. You stated your manager was gone, and more interesting work was given to your team, and another engineer is leading that. Did you feel that you deserved to lead that work? How did it end up led by someone else? When you say you didn’t speak up, do you mean you didn’t ask to lead or own a specific part? None of that seems related to your manager at all.

The next part is more concrete. If it is true that your manager is only critical of you publicly, and never anyone else on the team, that definitely seems problematic. Do you have any additional perspective on this? You may not trust other engineers on the team to discuss it, so it may be hard to find someone else that has witnessed this. Is your manager critical of you or your skills, or of a specific piece of work? Is there truth to the criticism, but the manner it is addressed is bothersome? Have you asked that critical feedback be delivered immediately by email or DM, or in a 1:1, rather than providing this feedback publicly? Maybe it wouldn’t matter, but it’s worth asking.

From there… “deal with him” maybe isn’t the right approach. Either you can discuss this and see if it’s incidental and can be corrected, then if it is “hooray”, if not then next steps. If you can’t discuss it, then you need to move on if it’s that bothersome.

In terms of growth, I think you need to assess if it is truly only you not being given stretch opportunities, or if there are only a few available. You also need to assess what you’ve asked your manager for, what gaps are between your current rating and the next according to him, what gaps are to promotion, and so on. If you don’t know any of that, and you don’t identify what projects or work you need, then you haven’t positioned yourself for growth. If your manager refuses to discuss it with you, or help you find the work you need, then it may well be irreparable and time to move on.

For all you know, your manager thinks you are happy with the work you’re doing if you’re not asking for something different. The criticism may seem incidental to him, and very hurtful to you. He won’t say “I don’t like you” outright if you ask, but you can see if he is open and behavior changes or not and figure it out.

At Meta, we had a saying called "Assume good intent". This is because it's easy to get paranoid in the workplace (especially now), and you don't want to go down a negative path that you can't come back from. Getting angry and retaliating at someone who had no ill will (or maybe even positive intentions) is one of the most tragic ways to damage a relationship beyond repair. Your manager is the most important professional figure in your life, so be extremely careful when making the decision to start seeing them as an enemy.

As Lee mentioned, I highly recommend taking a step back with a cooler head, being as objective as possible, and doing some reflection. Pretty much ask yourself all the exact questions Lee shared.

Once you've done that exercise and have the facts down as best you can, have that honest, awkward conversation in your next manager 1 on 1:

• Voicing Your Problems And Frustrations Productively
• [Course] Effective Communication For Engineers