How do you manage your workload (not work over 60+ hours/week) or decide on which job offer to take at a FAANGMULA company with ADHD/ND (Neurodivergent) where you tend to overwork and overfunction?

When you land the job in FAANGMULA, the main change relative to your entrepreneurial journey is that you are relieved of the burden of being "in charge" all the time.

Embrace the fact that the company will be just fine with or without you.

My recommendation is to be very open with your manager about your concern around work/life balance and have that be a standing item in your 1:1s. Break it down into, first, how much impact did you have? Then talk about how much you worked to achieve that impact.

If you find the answer to question #1 is that you're delivering the impact expected, then work to reduce the number of hours you worked.

Highly recommend going through the material here! [Taro Top 10] Work-Life Balance

Safety is really hard to discern before you’re really working on a team. I find that many big companies have a lot of positives being neurodivergent, like affinity groups and insurance coverage for things like occupational therapy and other autism-friendly supports (mostly allowing these to be billed in-network for out-of-network providers because the services are less common).

What safety might mean to you also matters. Does it mean you are comfortable disclosing to your managers and peers without fear of rebuke? Does it mean flexibility in working style? Does it mean inclusion and accommodation even if you don’t disclose? Does it mean access to other ND peers?

I didn’t have a diagnosis while I was at Amazon, but just sort of knew I was different. When it came to WLB (Jeff wanted to say work life harmony…) I just had to set the boundary myself. I had a family, which many younger engineers didn’t. I maybe hid behind this, but still tried to champion for same work, no heroics, etc. for everyone.

Meta had a reasonable internal community… but I can’t remember a ton about it. One thing I remember was speaking at/mentoring in an event that was geared toward college-attending autistic folk, intended to help move forward with resumes and interview scenarios.

I do love the Google autism ERG. I do like some of my teammates a lot, and I may still feel closer to some of the folks active in the Autism community. When I’m freaked out or struggling I’m likely to ask them first. I have presented some slides and thoughts about autistic inclusion, being an ally, etc in a few orgs. It is well received and I have had some good follow-ups.

I can’t say which of these places has been best as an autistic person. I feel like Amazon was most rigid, which meant rules (leadership principles acted in this way), and I do well with rules. Secret rules or norms are tough, and while they did exist I did learn to navigate them. I knew how the rating system worked and how to use it to my advantage. I knew how to get people promoted. I had sort of cracked the code. Meta was awful because I just didn’t fit. Team match was hard, setting expectations was hard (I wrote up a launch plan, had it approved, and was then given another one 6 weeks later and was told I was behind). I don’t think it’s all bad there, but my experience was. Google seems to fall in the middle. I have survived longer here than Meta, but don’t feel like I have the mastery I did at Amazon.

Honestly I strive for autonomy because I know if I can work my own way I can do amazing things, and am stifled if things have to be “just so”. I keep thinking the next promotion will grant me that autonomy. That hasn’t worked so far.

I don’t have experience in entrepreneurship, so can’t say how you achieve balance there. Zach Wilson, popular data personality and ADHDer, said he’s working 80 hours per week, but is also wildly successful and seems happy, so… that’s cool? I am terrified to try my own thing which makes me sad, but it is what it is for now.

Not sure how helpful this is, but really I’d be looking for health of an ERG, and might even ask if you could speak to someone in one of these groups. An HM might not know anyone specifically but I am betting they could talk to an organizer and get a volunteer.