What should be in our 1 on 1 doc (for manager 1 on 1s)?

Love the simple template that Rahul has provided here and the suggestions from Alex too.

If the 1:1s feel like status reports, bring that up with the Manager too, and suggest sharing those offline or in another async format.

Remember that the 1:1 is your meeting and not your manager's. It might feel weird, but you drive the agenda.

A question that might be interesting to ask your manager that I recently learned through LinkedIn:

What is one thing you need from me that you are not getting?

Be curious. Ask your manager about their career journey and learnings (following along with the Personal life suggestion from Alex).

The best 1:1 doc is the one that you and your manager both use frequently. I don't have a strong opinion on the format as long as it's something you feel is low-friction and easy to refer back to.

Here was my go-to template for 1:1s as a manager at Meta (in a running Google Doc):

1. Top of mind for the report
2. Top of mind for the manager
3. Discussion topics
4. Action items

To your point about the 1:1s being skewed toward status updates, IMO that has less to do with the template doc, and more to do with what you put in the "top of mind" section. Spend 10 minutes before each 1:1 to do some reflection on how to make the 1:1 awkward.

I highly recommend going through the answers here as well: What’s a good example of a 1:1 document to help your manager keep track of your accomplishments?

Rahul had some great specifics, so I'll follow up with a principle: For everything you're thinking of discussing with your manager, ask yourself if it would also make sense in a group setting. Now you have 2 paths:

• It makes sense in a group - Bring it up in a group setting and don't waste 1 on 1 time for the topic
• It would be weird in a group - Bring it up in your 1 on 1 as it's uniquely qualified to handle it

Some examples of topics that would be weird to bring up in a group (and therefore great for a manager 1 on 1):

• Your promotion progress (very relevant for you as an E4 due to up-or-out)
• Emotions (e.g. "I'm feeling burnt out")
• Bad interactions with a teammate (e.g. "The tech lead and I don't get along")
• Personal life (if your manager's vibe is open to this, I highly recommend talking about this at least a little bit as the IC <-> EM relationship is so crucial)
• Feedback (especially if you know you messed something up and want their honest reaction)

On top of that, make sure to write down action items and discuss them in the next 1 on 1 to make sure each of you have done them (or shame each other if you haven't 🤣).

I recommend this too: [Masterclass] How To Have Impactful 1 on 1 Meetings