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Don't feel ready to be senior, but most companies expect me to be now. Need help picking an offer to take in light of this

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Mid-Level Software Engineer at Taro Community4 months ago

Let me preface this by saying I have extreme impostor syndrome and I am optimizing for most chill company that's easier to survive in. I have offers from cockroach labs, and disney streaming. Both are senior level offers. At my last company (which i was let go from, I believe it was cause I took too long to resolve an outage in their eyes) i was basically doing mid level eng work so I'm not even sure I'm senior material tbh.

I have a little over 5 yoe. I've been laid off before and my perf has oscillated from good to bad etc (at times I've had personal things interfere with my work) so I'm very fearful of cutthroat/extremely high expectations environments.

From what I've seen, cockroach labs is very highly regarded in the industry, so in the case where I get laid off, it may be better to have a better brand name on my resume. They also do seem to have a good wlb. However, a lot of the people there are coming from other very reputable companies, and I'm very worried I won't be up to the par compared to these people, especially in this environment where performance is looked at more closely. They also did a large RIF last year which impacted low performers.

As far as disney, it may be easier to meet the expectations if the talent bar is lower, but they have done a fair amount of layoffs over the last few years, and the streaming unit has only recently gotten profitable. Seems the leadership is telling a story this will last, it's unclear how well the performance of the business will be long term. Cockroach labs seems to be very well positioned from a company performance POV.

I say all this because I don't really want to go through another job searching phase for a while, so I'm considering the strength of the business as well in addition to how capable I would be of surviving at the company.

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Discussion

(8 comments)
  • 2
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    Friendly Tarodactyl
    Taro Community
    4 months ago

    Don't have much to add other than I'm also in a very similar boat to you at 6 YOE. Hope things work out for you.

  • 2
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    Friendly Tarodactyl
    Taro Community
    4 months ago

    Same as other poster, I’m in a similar situation, I’m just going through all the related taro stuff and looking into hiring a coach

  • 1
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    Tech Lead @ Robinhood, Meta, Course Hero
    4 months ago

    Disney is an amazing company, but it's not a tech company. I highly recommend that you go to Cockroach Labs.

    Big non-tech companies tend to be rough for engineers as they see IT as a cost center, not a profit center. I've heard many horror stories from Disney, including a Taro member who quit their job there after only 2 weeks!

    The first step to success as an engineer is to believe in yourself (I know that this is easier said than done). You may have the skills to be an 8/10 engineer, but if your brain is convinced you're a 6/10 at best, you will perform as a 6/10 or lower.

    The good news is that you have Taro on your side. 5 YOE is definitely a good range for senior. If you follow the advice in Taro (and continue sharing in Taro whenever you need help), you'll be just fine.

    I recommend starting with these:

    Best of luck! Cockroach Labs is a great company.

    • 1
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      Mid-Level Software Engineer [OP]
      Taro Community
      4 months ago

      thanks for the response. I also had a bloomberg senior engineer offer come in, and i'm anxious that ill get laid off again in cockroach before they ipo. Does it make sense to optimize more for security than prestige in this layoff env? bloomberg never lays off

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      Tech Lead @ Robinhood, Meta, Course Hero
      4 months ago

      Bloomberg vs. Cockroach Labs is admittedly a tough one. At that point, I think it's more about the compensation and quality of the team.

      I've also heard that Bloomberg doesn't really do layoffs, but that could be more of an argument that a massive layoff is coming as they haven't cut anyone yet to save costs. I unfortunately don't know much about Bloomberg's culture, so I recommend talking with Bloomberg folks in the Taro community: https://www.jointaro.com/networking/?selectedCompanies=Bloomberg+LP

      Blind is a pretty toxic place, but you can sometimes find useful information about things like performance review culture (e.g. if the company does stack rank or not) there. Up to you on whether you want to trudge into Blind, haha.

  • 1
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    Tech Lead/Manager at Meta, Pinterest, Kosei
    4 months ago

    This is tricky. I totally understand the desire to prioritize stability over growth, but in some environments, openly admitting that could hurt you.

    That's the reason I wouldn't go to Cockroach Labs. Compared to Disney, Cockroach Labs has an undeniably better technical reputation, but it'd be a poor fit if they expect everyone to burn the midnight oil and they aggressively fire people. What I would do:

    • Look up the company + engineering values. Ideally, you'll find something polarizing (it either makes you love or hate the company), something like Netflix's culture deck.
    • Talk to people you know (or 2nd degree connections) about their stress levels and their ability to grow. Ideally, talk to senior ICs who have less incentive for you to join compared to managers.
  • 1
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    Senior Engineer @ Amazon, Founder @ Roman Yusufov Coaching
    4 months ago

    I get your frustration and wanting help in making a decision. But, I don't think someone else can tell you what to do. That'd be like someone else telling you who to date.

    Instead, I recommend figuring out what's the best fit for you.

    The first step is to understand what you need.

    There are competing priorities like compensation, stability, growth and many others. So, do a simple exercise:

    • Write down one-word answers for all the things that are important to you about your career (aim for >5 but write as many as you can come up with). I listed some examples above.
    • Order them by priority. If you had to choose, which ones would rank higher?
    • Trim the list to top 5

    Now that you know your top 5 priorities, evaluate your options against them. Write down the option that's the best fit.

    If there isn't an obvious choice, ask yourself: "What does my gut say?"

    The key is to articulate to yourself why you're making a decision. Then, if something comes up in the future (like a layoff), you don't have to second-guess yourself. Instead, you can use the new information to make a better decision next time.

  • 1
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    Mentor Coach for SWEs | Former Staff Software engineer
    4 months ago

    This is vulnerable and it's extra hard in this job market. Thank you for opening up.

    First, there's nothing wrong with looking for a chill company and doing enough to earn your keep. You're ahead of those who don't want to do even that much and just want a paycheck somehow. Hopefully this gives you some confidence.

    What is your plan to avoid getting into a perf-related layoff again? I think reflecting on this is as important as choosing what offer to accept.

    I'd start by identifying the recurring patterns in your bad perf reviews. What are your peers and managers saying about you in those reviews?

    In your own assessment of your work, where do you see gaps between how you operate vs. how an average performer on the team operates? Have you thought of enlisting a buddy on your team who is 1-2 steps ahead of you and can provide you with feedback and measurable interventions?

    You're being prudent by choosing a "safe" place to land, and please don't disregard the importance of ensuring your safety there!